Walk Like a Babylonian
Our poor tour guide. He only had an hour with us.
His task: To cover the highlights of biblical artifacts in the British Museum, a punishingly impossible task for even the most efficient docent.
One of our party, a young girl, asked where the toilets were, and he said, “Oh, just turn ‘round, head down through the gallery, and go right at the Rosetta Stone.” 🤣
Taking a sip out of a fire hose is not a radical enough metaphor for our Day At The Museum.
Stopping for a few minutes at the Neo-Assyrian relief carvings that celebrated Ashurbanipal’s exploits, my brain was immediately drawn to his wheels.1
There it was in stark relief: The 7th Century B.C.E. version of automobiles!
Inventing The Wheels
OK, I know that cars, as we know them, came into existence as “horseless carriages,” around the end of the 19th century.
In ancient times till the present day, though, some kinds of folks got around on wheels.
Human car-riage is nothing new.
What might this history teach us about what drives us today?
For starters, animal drawn carriages were as ubiquitous as our autos today, but not many people got up in them to ride. Not, at least, until the mud ruts got paved.
I’m Not Dead Yet!
And that brings us up to Rome.
Like most of our best technologies, such as Silly Putty,® the Roman roads were built as a military asset.
You need to get to the far reaches of your empire as quickly as possible because the Internet hasn’t been invented for all the low-lifes in your realm.
What better way to survey the empire than in a wheeled, and very fast, chariot?
In the 1st Century C.E., the Jews were living throughout the Roman empire as self-conscious exiles with a mixed bag of approaches to their subjugation.
They would’ve been familiar with all the Roman advances such as roads, but their method of getting around was the same as all the other subjects: On foot, maybe on a donkey, possibly on a horse, and in the event of being nearly dead, a drawn wagon.
All in One Accord
And this brings me to the Bible.
The title of this section is the answer to a pun about the first mention of cars in the Bible. So there. I mentioned it without giving it one ounce of credence.
Actually, the entire corpus of Hebrew and Christian writings not only attest to an endless amount of historical details, such as chariots, they also form the corpus of ethics, religious practice, and culture-making for billions of Jews and Christians of all stripes to this day.
It’s worth looking into this repository despite the obvious absence of of a Nissan, unless you’re talking about the first month of the Hebrew year. 🥁 rim shot!
Beam Me Up, Scottie
In the New Testament book of Acts, the author/doctor Luke provides a host of transit details in one of his narratives.
Clearly, Luke is making a grander point about the Jewish Messiah, but I’m choosing to highlight some atmospheric details he was very apt to use.
It’s found in chapter 8 with an angel telling Phillip to go down south to the desert in Gaza. Being a preacher, this he does dutifully.2
When he gets down there, he sees an Ethiopian official reading the Hebrew scriptures in his chariot.
Here are some of the incidental details of the story that shed light on how people got around:
On foot: Apparently, this is how Phillip moseys into the desert.
In a chariot:
An Ethiopian eunuch, an official of Candace’s court, is sitting, having a “driveway moment,” reading from the prophet Isaiah.
He invites Phil up into his rig. Upon receiving the good news in the text about the “suffering servant,” the official starts driving to a place where Phillip can baptize him.
On foot: The two of them get out of the chariot and walk down to some water. Swimming is neither mentioned nor implied.
Transported: Again, without winking, Luke says “the Spirit of the Lord carried (Phillip) away,” and he found himself at Azotus, down near the Mediterranean Sea. We’re not told how he was transported, but it sure sounds cinematic.
Like My Wheels?
These atmospheric details distinguish something that remains with us to this day: our wheels identify our class and our place in society.
The unnamed eunuch enjoyed the privilege of a royal, wheeled conveyance. I wager he had Roman Speedpass.
Phillip, a nicely-sandled Jewish preacher, apparently enjoyed long walks in the desert, the occasional jog, and one very dizzying teleporting ride.
Perhaps there’s no mention of automobiles in the Bible, but chariots provide a picture of how a ruling class displayed their might by towering over others in stature and speed.
Certain kinds of human “carriage” create opportunities for people and tell us something about their status.
As a result, these artifacts create new technological advances, such as Roman roads, that distinguish the haves from the havenots.
This is how it comes to pass that Kevin Hart flies in a private jet, and the rest of us look down at our belts and shoes in the TSA line and moan, “Not again.”
In my next dispatch I’d like to explore how the social dynamic of transit relates to our experience in the 21st Century B.C.E.
I hope you’ll jump in once again and join me for the ride.
And his crew’s dashing, pointed beards, I must confess.
Verses 26-40.