Eulogy for Dartt M. Becker, The Dude.
The above Polaroid was taken about 1973 in Milton at Mom's mother's house in Milton, PA.We look like a family of ghouls. It may not be a complimentary portrait, but it's given us a lot of laughs, and I must say, Dad's Pompadour is outstanding. I'm the only son who is able to sport one. Which I do sometimes.
We’ve come to honor the life of a man most of us knew as Dartt and some of us knew as Dad or Pappy. I asked my brothers how our father came to be called The Dude at some point in the 70’s, but they had no idea. It's a mystery. Still, it was my favorite label for him.
If you’re lucky enough to have seen the movie The Big Lebowski, you’ll understand when I say, “The Dude abides.”
If you don't know that reference, here's my point: Dad’s influence abides in me and in those he touched, and will for a long time.
Unlike the slacker dude Jeff Bridges plays in the movie, Dad was always on the move, making deals, creating enjoyable places for us to thrive like the farm, our store, and that memorable 3 week drive to Las Vegas.
Dude was outgoing, often to our irritation. Before cell phones, Mom would simply lay on the horn behind their store to extract him from one of thousands of conversations. By 1986 when he and Mom closed the store, I would bet not a single adult existed within 5 miles how didn’t know his face.
He was jolly and tolerated laughs at his own expense. (There were many of those). It wasn’t easy to get deep with Dad, but being in his presence, we all felt like we mattered.
Regarding things like cars, which he enjoyed, he would say, “They make ‘em everyday.” Meaning that in those times of breakdowns and crashes, people were infinitely more valuable to him.
He wasn’t perfect, anymore than my brothers and I were perfect, but we all respected him for his presence, restraint, and generosity.
A few times a year, Dad would truck us and a few of our unlucky friends around the surrounding towns, passing out Ben Franklin store flyers. In the winter especially we got cold, desperately hungry, and bone-weary after a few hours. But we had The Basket in Allenwood to look forward to.
It may have been a greasy spoon diner with snakes under the floor boards, but to us, it was Circus Circus in the Vegas desert.
We would yell at each other, trip over chairs, and smash ketchup packets. The Basket really stressed Dad out. But he made sure we were fed. And he never lost his cool. Well, one night, he just said, “That’s it. We’re leaving.” And we were escorted out with French Fries still in our cheeks.
In a time when men too often abuse their positions of responsibility, I am grateful that I had a Dad who cared. I’m speaking not just as a Becker but as a Christian, not just as a son, but as a child of God.
Christians are called to honor their fathers and mothers. It’s part of the Ten Commandments. I want to boldly thank God for giving me an earthly dad whom I could honor. In fact it was my honor to be his son.
When I was about 15 I was crossing the railroad tracks at Brimmer Avenue, minding my own business. Two nerdy guys came up to me and tried to talk to me about God, the Bible, and "being saved." I let them give me a pamphlet, and I blew them off. I found them annoying. I felt sorry for them.
But one of them said something that haunted me for years: "If Jesus Christ really rose from the dead, as the Bible claims, then that means he must be still alive."
It only made sense that if Jesus really were still alive, at some point I'd run into him or have to deal with him on his own terms. No long after, I found out for myself that He is a live, and I guess I become one of "them:" A follower of Jesus.
Today, I am that guy at the tracks asking you right now to consider the same thing: Jesus is alive, and he says to you,
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)
If your grief is unbearable
If you are beaten down by your own failings
If you are in despair at the finality of your own death
If you are weary from pain or disappointment
If you are tired of suffering of the abuse of others
If you are angry with God...
You are a perfect candidate for God’s kingdom. Only little children, the weary, the ignorant, the lowly, and the tired can know the rest and peace that Jesus offers.
The Dude’s influence abides, it’s true, and it’s good for us to honor him. But the Lord who made you abides forever, and I invite you to come to Him.